Monday, April 9, 2012

Floundering

Somebody throw me a life preserver!

I am 6 days shy of reaching my 1 month w/o masturbating goal and today I am in such a frenzied state of raunchy desire it's all I can do to keep from giving in. Everywhere I look today I have had a new sex/fuck object thrown in my face.

Is this to be my life? Will it ever get easier? Will I ever overcome? If so, how and when? Can I learn to control these desires and my dark passenger every fucking minute of every fucking day for the rest of my fucking life?

Today I am so over the top horny and triggered that I literally feel physically sick. I want to go home so badly where I can feel safety and security but I can't, unfortunately. My stomach has a ball of butterflies fluttering around in it, I feel cold and shaky, it's difficult for me to focus and think straight, I feel weak and lethargic, and my loins are sensitive and screaming for attention. Tempation is calling me so loud it's all I can do to shut it out. He wants me to nonchalantly surf Craigslist personal ads. He wants me to leave work and go cruise the parks and bathrooms. He wants me to sound myself and masturbate. He wants me to find a hook up and give in to my carnal desires.

Why oh why is it so fucking intense today?

Please, God, give me strength to get me through this day.
Please send help.

2 comments:

  1. Please look at curethecraving.com. It is a great distraction. You can call me too!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dude, I can't check it out while at work. It's hard enough to write these posts on my blog while I'm at work. Pretty sneaky. ;)

    ReplyDelete