Thursday, April 19, 2012

Loneliness & Isolation

All my life I have struggled w/ intense feelings of loneliness, unacceptance, and isolation, which has usually resulted in me ultimately acting out and feeding my sex addiction to temporarily fill that terrible void. Despite the fact I have a great network of guys from my SA group that occasionally call me and I call them, weekly lunch meetings, a fantastic relationship w/ my wife and kids, and good, healthy relationships w/ guys at work and at church...I'm still feeling incredibly alone lately. What gives? What's lacking? Why am I feeling this way?

Please don't think that you, reader, can change it. You can't! For I know that these feelings of loneliness, isolation, etc. are only created and imagined w/in my own head. Anyone else in my position would feel completely satisfied w/ their situation and the interpersonal relationships I have. Yet for me I feel like something is lacking but I don't know what it is and I don't know if there's to be any resolution. What expectations am I creating in my mind that people aren't living up to? Why do I feel I am not adequately loved or cared about? What the hell is going on?

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