Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Depo Provera Follow Up

As you know, I decided to begin having Depo Provera injections in order to help curb my sexual behaviors and compulsions. I have now had two injections - one at the beginning of December and another on the 10th of January. While this is definitely not a cure-all, it has been a game-changer for me!

After an injection, I can usually start "feeling" or experiencing results approx. 3-4 days later. My Doctor said that only I will be able to tell when it is time to go in and get another injection; probably once a month or every 6 weeks.

I still have naughty thoughts on occasion and sometimes I'll get myself really going by thinking about past experiences or people (usually in the middle of the night while I lay in bed). And of course it will cause me to get an erection. However, BEFORE my treatments these lustful thoughts and memories would be all-consuming and I would have to masturbate to 'get it out' and deal w/ it or I couldn't shake the thoughts and tickle and would feel that compulsion to act on them. So I would start cruising or surfing CL ads to find someone to act out with. Or I'd engage in stupid, dangerous, and hurtful auto-erotic behaviors.

For me, these Depo Provera shots have helped me cope and deal with my constant triggers, lusts, addictions, and compulsions. It hasn't completely killed my sex drive/libido dead, but it has made it not be so fore-front in my mind. I have a thought or an erection and it goes away as quick as it comes! I've noticed the times when I do get really horny or 'jonesy' is when a few weeks have past since my last sexual release w/ my wife. Stuff starts filling up (naturally) and needs to come out. Once I do, I'm good to go for another few weeks. I can tub or shower and not have that constant craving/desire/temptation to masturbate. In fact, that desire has actually been NIL to NADA! It's wonderful. I now have 6 weeks abstinence from masturbation. :) I can touch my penis or use the restroom or take a shower and be free! Wow!

Sex w/ my wife is more intimate as well. It is no longer a 'have-to' every day. My wife and I have had several sexual experiences when I took care of her and didn't have that "male need" to finish or have an orgasm myself. The interest just wasn't there. It was great!

So, as we move into Spring and I get more active outdoors and the joggers and shirtless guys start coming out of the woodwork and Spring fever sets in and those natural 'instincts' begin calling, we'll see if these injections will continue to help me deal and cope.

For now, I'm doing really well, am happy, and clean. The injections have been a life saver...really! And in every sense of the word!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Happy New Year

Happy New Year, readers!

I'm really hoping that 2014 is a much better year than 2013. I know in the end how I feel about the state of affairs will inevitably be a result of my choices and decisions, whether good or bad, wise or foolish. 2013 was FULL of some really bad choices. But for the record, I'm not planning on repeating those same mistakes in 2014 and experiencing that dark misery and sadness.

My #1 resolution for the year 2014: Sexual Sobriety.

This means no sex w/ myself or others (e.g. any "sexual" activity) outside my marriage. I intend to be chaste and honest and reclaim the integrity I threw out the window in 2013.

"I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the years'." Henry Moore